Monday, February 6, 2012

The clips show blog post for Tom

Last week I got a text from my friend Tom which said, "Your blog has become a constant in my apt. and amongst my circle of friends and we have all requested more stories like "so last night at FHE." Me and several of my friends will randomly make a fist and do a punching motion in the air to remind us of the line 'full powered homoerotic fisting' which sends us into hysterics just so you know."

I was flabbergasted and of course totally flattered. And then I lied and told him I'd get right on it. Here's the thing, Tom, in order to come up with more posts in which I am scandalized and then trash people, (like the guy with the worst haircut ever,) I'd have to first be scandalized and then second write things I probably shouldn't about people with terrible hair, per se.

Let's pretend I was someone who was more often scandalized, or put in to places I could be scandalized in: then I would have far more anecdotes like the sacrament meeting molestation to share. And let's also pretend that I wasn't trying to be a nicer person, and wasn't at all concerned about receiving emails from people who don't like being made fun of: then I would unapologetically trash people as fast as my sitcom-trained mind would allow. But, as luck would have it, I don't seek out sketchy things, I am trying to be a nicer person, and like Wallace Shawn, I don't like confrontations and have thus tried to stop trashing people, at least with any detail in this public forum. So, until I decide to just stop caring and speak poorly about anyone who could potentially find this weblog, or become way more conservative or frequent super sketchy places, I'll probably not have anything like last night at FHE for Tom.

So, I will give you some links to go to posts from many, many moons ago in which I was either excessively cruel and gossipy or absolutely grossed out by other people's actions.

Scandalized Molly:
Cruel Molly:
I hope these past posts can tide you over until I happen to spy something as disturbing as the fisting - other than the fact that tonight at FHE Dottie and the fister were totes getting their flirt on. I wanted to slow-motion scream "NOOOO!"

1 comment:

Michael and Natalie said...

OKAY I have a solution. I, like Tom, yearn for more stories. So, I propose you start another blog that is invite only, and post all of your sordid stories there. Please, please, please.