Monday, December 31, 2012

101 Reasons I love Reem, Part 3

A few weeks ago the excessively charming Reem told me about what I thought was the best/most marketable/hilariously original idea I've heard in a long while. I could very easily see this idea of hers as a successful blog, a book or a segment on some hilarious show like Fallon. So, I told her she should blog this. While there's no blog yet she has taken to the page and started journaling. On Sunday night she read me an entry she'd written after our conversation about this idea and about the pending end of the world, entitled "I have two weeks to live."

In classic Reem style it was charming, funny, and a little over dramatic. One line from the entry was, "I asked Molly what I should do with the little time I had left and she suggested I blog." So, in the reality that Reem is putting forth to her progeny and anyone else she is sharing it with currently, I am being presented as someone who sees blogging as something that should be prioritized in order to live a fulfilling existence (if I am telling her to make it a top concern before the world/Mayan calendar comes to an end) and yet here I am with a blog so scarcely populated and so sporadically updated of late that I am being made to look a fool and a hypocrite.  Well no more, Reem/Reem's journal/Reem's progeny. No more.

New Year's Resolution #3 - blog more frequently. For me and for you, my sweet friends who keep asking me to. I promise I will try, but I can't always be funny and snarky, and I know that's what you want, but it's just not always in me. Lie. It is always in me, but it is not always in me to document my snark. But will try.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Tucked behind Ralph's on Rte 123

Wednesday morning, I was talking to Nancy, a super sassy girl at work whom I find pretty funny. I said something that reminded her of a song by RuPaul, and when I said I hadn't heard it she told me I had to look in to it, that RuPaul and all drag queens were the greatest ever, and that she was probably a drag queen in a past life.

Thursday morning, Nancy handed me a thank you card to fill out with a pen. I then reached for my cute pink pen to sign it with. Before I passed on the card to someone else to sign, I read the pen, "Van Nuys Center for Cosmetic Surgery - Specializing in Difficult Gender Reassignments - Tucked behind Ralph's on Rte 123 - call 800 - ALLNEWU"

I asked Nancy if that was hers*, and she told me that the very innocent looking, middle aged, LDS bookkeeper at the school had given it to one of our students because it had green on it, and he's obsessed with all things green.  We passed the pen around and got a good giggle out of it - specifically the "tucked behind..." line. A quick google search found that this pen is from an anti-theft line of pens. But I am super curious how this bookkeeper, who clearly hadn't read or understood the pen at all because she gave it to a 13 year old with special needs, came to have this pen in the first place. Is she so worried about people stealing her pens that she would have these hilarious things in a school, or is she a pen thief?

*thinking that the "past life" she mentioned might have just been a past time in this life