How do you know when enough time has passed to make fun of or rant about something someone you know and see on a regular basis did or wore? Probably the answer is it is never ok. Oh well, sorry in advance Mack Daddy.*
So here's the story: A few weeks ago, a guy I have known for many, many moons, showed up to a social function (the type of which will remain nameless, let's just say the initials of this kind of event are F, H and E.) wearing a t-shirt not unlike this one:
(I suck at being vague. It was exactly this shirt.) I made a small deal about his shirt, trying to understand why he would 1. like this shirt enough to purchase it and 2. after obtainining said shirt wear it. I think, I think, he is wearing it to appear non-threatening, charming and datable.** Here's the rub though, it kind of sounds like something someone would say when...how to put this delicately...they were about to force themselves on you. It's the "relax" bit that really (and I mean REALLY) screams "date rape." According to this shirt, there is a fine line between cuddling and holding you down so you can't get away.
This t-shirt would be significantly less creepy if it simply said, "I just like to cuddle," or better still, "I like to cuddle."
*Maybe by calling him Mack Daddy*** it will soften the blow?
**All of which aren't particularly far from the truth.
***The nickname he tried to give himself.
I digress. This little Prince Harry hippo is just about the cutest thing I've ever seen. (And only for half a second did I want his caretaker to put a little tutu on him and turn on The Dance of the Hours.)
*Why are you surprised? Jerk. I like sciencey things!
**We got pretty close to a pod of hippos on a tiny boat in the Zambezi River, and that was both awesome and a little bit disconcerting. None seemed as friendly as Jessica, so unfortunately, no friends were made.
I've been trying to find an awesome sounding stylish looking way to listen to/dock ET or Lucille 2 (iPhone and iPod respectively) since my cat Scout chewed the wires to my speakers about a year ago. I keep dreaming of something like the Yamaha tsx-120 in white.
But I don't love how it is $350.00. So I put it in my amazon wish list and occasionally go visit, see if it is cheaper, try to find another pretty solution to my issue, then realize that this is a want not a need and go on with nothing purchased. Recently, on one such visit to my wish list, I discovered something about this little guy that I had no idea was even a possibility. Talk about multi-faceted!
Not only is it a speaker/alarm clock/radio what not, but it is also a foam rubber 40 gallon size hat with contrasting star and band! Who needs a ghetto blaster when I have a speaker hat? To say I am excited by this development would be an gross understatement.
There's been nothing but love for Raphael Saadiq since the summer of 2010 when I realized the Tony! Toni! Tone! alum had branched out in a super-fabulous-soul-infused direction. Oh man, I am a fan.
So last Thursday for our Relief Society activity, my friend Joanna and I put together a little trivia night. It was actually super fun.
One of the sections of questions were like unto Wheel of Fortune's Before and Afters. At first we thought of doing this with hymn titles, but have you ever tried to write trivia questions about hymns? It gets a little tricky. So we didn't use those, but they were super clever. (Mostly because Joanna is super clever.)
Now Let us Rejoice the Lord is King
Angels we have Heard on High on a Mountain Top
Love at Home can be a Heaven on Earth
I am a Child of God be With you 'til we Meet Again
So, we came up with other Before and Afters to actually ask questions about. To you I will pose these questions.
1. The name of 2002 "Mollywood" film or the kind of congregation we are in coupled with the father's name on "Leave it to Beaver" played by Hugh Beaumont.
2. A 1969 church-produced film about the starting of the Young Women's Retrenchment Society coupled with the sitcom which aired from 1963-1970 about the goings on at the Shady Rest hotel in Hooterville about Bradley sisters Bobbie Jo, Billie Jo and Betty Jo.
3. Popular Beatles' single from 1964's A Hard Day's Night or a Patrick Dempsey movie from 1987 coupled with the title of the hymn that follows the line, "There is beauty all around when..."
4. In Primary, what you saw when you looked out the window coupled with a popular concept in religion, philosophy and mythology - in our religion it is described by Lehi, also the name of a 2011 Brad Pitt film directed by Terrence Mallick.
I am officially obsessed with Calvin Harris. My friend Ashley played this for me this weekend, and oh man did I flip for it. I'd only heard his new stuff before this, but now watch out -- hardcore fan, right here.
I would tag myself at a hotel in Seattle. But that would be but a tiny fraction of the fascinating story of me hanging out in a room with two eleven year olds and my friend while their mom did some socializing, being the only person awake, and watching a Celtics v. Lakers game circa Kareem Abdul Jabbar on ESPN Classic.
I woke up on Sunday with, of all obnoxious songs, She's Like The Wind* stuck in my head -- and I mean tapeworm stuck. UG! I don't know any of the words (excepting of course the phrase "she's like the wind") and I don't like that song at all. When I mentioned to a couple of girls at church that I couldn't get that song out of my head, someone suggested that I was trying to tell myself to watch Dirty Dancing.
Let me set the record straight. I know myself, and I would never make that suggestion for me. I've seen that movie .5 times, and I just couldn't handle it; it is not a movie for me. So, I'm pretty sure the last thing my subconscious would be telling me would be to watch Dirty Dancing.
Fast forward two days, and this song, and by this song, I mean that line, was still in my head. I'd been listening to a bunch of other stuff trying to get it out -- nothing seemed to work.
But then, Lucille 2 on shuffle came to my deliverance with this little ditty:
Thank you funk phase circa 2010! Now instead of [phrase that shall not be uttered] I've got "Free! (Free) Free! (Free) Free the soul man! HEY! Set him free. HEY!" in my head. And for at least the time being, that is a great, great thing.
*I don't mean to offend, I'm sure it's a perfectly nice song once you listen to it. But it's been three days, people!
A few years ago, some roommates and I were in a car and I started talking about the classic Blessid Union of Souls song, "I Believe." Neither of these girls had ever heard the song before. "What? How is that possible? It was a popular single. It was all over the radio in the mid 90's." They still had no idea what I was talking about. I busted out one of the verses,
"I've been seeing Lisa now for a little over a year
She said she's never been so happy but Lisa lives in fear
That one day daddy's gonna find out she's in love
With a brotha* from the streets
Oh how he would lose it then but she's still here with me
'Cause she believes that love will see it through, one day he'll understand
And he'll see me as a person not just a black man
'Cause I believe that love is the answer"
Yes. I sang the whole verse and started the chorus, and they still had no idea what this song was.
Fast forward to yesterday, when I said "all we do is eliminate our future with the things we do today" and the person I was with looked like they sort of knew that I was quoting something, but didn't know what. (Kind of like the face I give people all the time.) I said, "I Believe." "Blessid Union of Souls." Nothing. I then sang the chorus. NOTHING. I repeated my claims that it was a very popular song in the mid 90s. Still nothing. We moved on.
But right now, to all of these friends, I would like to say, this is a real song. It reached #2 in the top 40 in 1995. I wasn't making any of that up.
Now, while this isn't a major favorite of mine, it is a major guilty pleasure and I know all of the lyrics.** My main point is that I was a very impressionable radio listener at 12, and I totes jammed out to it, because it totes exists.
*RADIO EDIT
**Even what Eliot Sloan*** whispers at 4:02. Which reminds me of the "Footloose" wailing which several of you don't believe me is there. It is. I'm not crazy.
***I did not know his name before finding the wiki page. I promise.
or: An excerpt from a conversation at a party on Friday night: (The names have been cleverly changed.)
Jerry: Some guys at work call me gay because I'm cultured.
Me: What? That's stupid. What do you mean cultured?
Jerry: I like opera, and stuff like that.
Me: Oh, what operas have you seen?
Paige: Have you been to the Sydney Opera House?
Jerry: No.
Paige: I have.
Jerry: Have you been to the Metropolitan Opera?
Paige: No.
Jerry: I have.
Me: (To Paige) Did you see an Opera in Sydney?
Paige: No.
Me: (To Jerry) Did you see an Opera at the Met?
Jerry: No.
Me: Then you both need to shut up. (To Jerry) Have you been to any operas?
Jerry: No.
So much fun was had.
And Jerry, if you're reading this, I was this close to having your character be called "Mack Daddy." But, since I stand behind the fact that you cannot give yourself a nickname, I'll stick with Jerry [insert famous Jerrys' last name here].
*Why yes I did say that terrible pun to Jerry right after he said he hadn't been to any operas.
I woke up this morning to a text at 5:25 from my dear friend Ashley, "March...Real life starts today ;(" I responded that "I welcome real life after the questionable decisions of yesterday. Welcome real life!" Except that the only truly questionable decision I made yesterday on Leap Day, the day where nothing counts, was to wear yellow.* Nothing counts on Leap Day! I feel like I should have taken more advantage of the holiday that embodies the ever-inspirational, and oh-so practical, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" mentality, especially when it so seldom happens. I suppose I'll just have to wait until May Day for a chance to go crazy, and live like I can "make the biggest little mistakes of your life in Reno."
*I of course paired it with blue. And when I wished several people I came across a "Merry Leap Day!" let's just say, I got some interesting looks.
