Saint Bernard & The Virgin

Yesterday my family gathered at my Grandfather's house to celebrate his 89th birthday, it was a super fun time, despite the fact that CRAZY* Glenn Beck** came up several times. When my dad's wife asked me why I thought Glenn Beck was kookoo, I said, I don't think we should talk about that and went back to talking to my cousin Jill who came down from college in Seattle for the day.  This is not important, or what I started out with the intention of writing about.

Part of the conversation my brother and I were having was about Dali. Neurological pathways being what they are, I went: Dali --> Art + Spain --> Madrid --> Prado --> Saint Bernard and the Virgin by Alonso Cano = Molly being traumatized by art.

Just like when you taste something terrible, you say, "try it" or smell something disgusting you shove it in front of your friends' noses, I saw something horrifying and I am going to say to you, "look!"

My day at the Prado a million years ago would probably never go down as a good day for Molly at a museum. I could endlessly roam through the Met or the National Gallery or the Frick Collection, but the Prado does not equal Molly's brand of fun. When I stumbled across this horrifying image, I was so disturbed I can't even tell you. Not only the fact that Mary is projectile shooting breast milk in to Saint Bernard's mouth (I don't know who Saint Bernard is, but I'm assuming he's the patron saint of large dogs?) -- and that's a big issue for me -- but the physics of the stream seems not quite right. And his facial expression...no one looks like that when they are getting liquid shot at their face. Sure, it doesn't have to be realistic--it's art, but I don't really understand the meaning behind it, so just going by aesthetics, I still don't get it. Ick.


*Not crazy in the "wild and crazy guys" fun way, but delusional, disturbing and where-the-eff-are-you-coming-up-with-these-ideas, egomaniac kind of way.
**I recently found out homeboy is Mormon. I realize that I am a lot more liberal than many of my Mormon contemporaries, but being an active member of my church, I'm still a fairly conservative person in the big scheme of things.  I cannot reconcile the idea that Glenn Beck and I share any of the same beliefs or paradigms. Talk about ick.