Passive Aggressive Matchmaking.

I love Emma by Jane Austen. That is probably the only thing you need to know as far as background goes for this anecdote.

A few weeks ago, I decided that my friends Rick and Rachel would be perfect for each other, despite the fact that Rick lives in SLC, and Rachel Portland. I was talking to Rick on the phone and told him a little bit about Rachel. Some of my reasons were that neither of them are agoraphobic nor extroverted*, they are both super funny and sarcastic, and they both delight in making me feel foolish. We talked about how they both grossly under utilize the DVD aspect of Netflix, one has had some Chinese film for like three years, the other had Inception for about six months last year before getting around to watching it.

He didn't seem super anxious to be set up.** But of course, I persisted. I sent them both the same email briefly introducing them, and then let it be.

Then I didn't hear from either of them for a long while, despite the fact that I texted and called both of them. I began to fear that they were annoyed with me. I was more concerned with Rachel being upset than Rick, because Rachel is our RSP and I, her first counselor - that's probably not a relationship that should be rife with animosity. 

So Rachel finally acknowledged my existence and of course delighted in telling me that she was really enjoying seeing how long she could go without talking to me, just to keep me on pins and needles. So tonight, I sent Rick an email:

Thank you so much for acknowledging my previous texts, your receipt of my Christmas card, and my existence! You're so thoughtful that way.

Fact: after I sent that last email to you and my friend Rachel, whom I still say would be a good match for you, I didn't hear from Rachel either. And, it wasn't until a previously planned movie night with the rest of our presidency that she talked to me, despite my calls and texts to her. She wasn't angry at all, but she thought it would be hilarious to see how long she could go without talking to me since I called her and left a couple messages asking if she was upset with me.

Just another reason why I think you should email her. You two clearly derive the same sick joy out of treating me poorly.

If you don't however wish to pursue any sort of potential for eternal companionship, or a new friend who is super funny, that is fine. I'll leave it alone. But at some point you really should answer your friend's texts.

I stand by the fact that these two crazy kids would be a really good match. I'll leave it alone but only after the previous status quo of my relations with each of them is restored.

*To which he responded, "So because we are both single, Mormon and somewhere between agoraphobic and extroverted you think we'd be a good match," which is EXACTLY what Rachel would say.

**but he did coin their name mash-up nickname "Rickhel".