Monday, July 18, 2011

Letters from Yesterday

My journal takes many forms. Yesterday, I wrote a series of letters, and since I won't cut them out and mail them, I thought I should post them here so their recipients might actually read them.

Dear Analee,
One of my favorite things about you is that you are crazy fun and will do anything! Even when that means you go over to the unknown guy with the quasi-pompadour and ask him if I can touch his hair - the opposite of what I was hoping you would do. (If I thought there were ANY hope, I would have done it myself.) And then when you two come back it is excessively awkward. I'm not saying I don't want you as a wing man, but let's just save that for men I'm actually interested in, and not just the ones whose hair I want to touch.
Much love,

Dear Nathan*,
That was your name, right? I can't remember. That sure was awkward, wasn't it? Maybe next time, we can both be as charming as we actually are - or at least I am.
 The girl who liked your hair.

Dear Sister [shall remain nameless on this blog],
Thanks for mentioning that men were visual and that we all need to lose weight, shower everyday and wear more makeup. Thanks for also telling us that we need to simultaneously lower our standards and not settle. Those are all things I'm sure none of the 300 single twenty something women had considered before. And thanks for really reemphasizing that marriage is the end all be all of our existence and the happy ending we're all waiting for. That is exactly the mindset we're trying to propagate. 
Sorry for being sarcastic. Maybe that should be on your list for next time?
A passive aggressive member of the congregation.

Dear girl who said that there's a Stripling Warrior in Heaven for those of us who don't get married,
I feel like you need to re-read that story. None of them died, so presumably they all got married and had families. Just saying.
A stranger who was judging you.

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