So my dear friend Rachel's birthday is today, and she's been having a very fun countdown over on the FBook to usher in the occasion. (She is THE reason I've been getting on the FBook everyday for the past month, by the way) She's been posting a picture of herself from every year of her life along with a quippy comment about how silly she looked at age 8 etc. (Except her age 8 photo, aka mini Judith Light, brings me more joy than I've ever found on the interweb before.) (I really like parentheses.) A few days of this countdown have inspired several funny quips from not only Rachel, but her friends too, and I am going to miss this sense of community and fun we've all had this month.
My favorites were age 16 --
Rachel: 14 days left. Sweet 16 - that was a memorable year! My family was so focused on my sister's wedding that they all forgot my birthday. Then my grandparents showed up with a strange foreign exchange student and I gave a loser my panties at a party. It all worked out in the end, though. The guy of my dreams showed up after the wedding to celebrate my birthday with cake and a special birthday kiss.
Jasmine: Same thing happened at my sweet 16!! Minus the sister getting married...
[Then several people I don't know made comments like "that sounds like a movie" or "Jake Ryan!"]
Me: I often confuse your sixteenth birthday for the time I went to the prom on my own- in a superbly ugly pink dress I made from two less ugly pink dresses- after a rich kid asked and then jilted me and I got into a fight with my best bud, Jon Cryer. But it all worked out, and the rich kid and I kissed in the parking lot.
Cecily: Wasn't that the year you went on vacation in the Catskills and fell in love with that hunky dancer? Or was that someone else?
Rachel: Yes, Cecily, that was the same year! Man, I had the time of my life...
Me: I've always known that you shouldn't be put in to a corner. Now I know why. So, you still up for stealing your dad's Ferrari and doing a lip-sync in a parade tonight?
Rachel: Of course! Although I might ride a lawn mower instead and wear my mom's white leather outfit. You know, the one with all the fringe that cost $1,000 that I didn't have so I pretended that the neighbor boy was my boyfriend so he would give me the money to replace it? That one.
Annette: I am up for that as long as it isn't Saturday because I unfortunately have detention in the library that day. Not looking forward to the other losers that might be there. I would never be friends with them. But maybe I will bring sushi for lunch. Hm?
Rachel: I hate detention. It makes me angry, like that one time I was an outcast but got asked to prom by this cute guy and we were crowned prom king & queen but that was just a ploy to get me on stage so they could pour pigs blood all over me, but I showed them, I burnt the whole place down, went home and killed my mom and then myself. That was a bad day.
Me: I was crowned prom queen too, not in high school, but when I went back to high school as an undercover reporter. That was when I met the love of my life, and first real kiss, a man who could channel Gordie Howe on the ice as a kid.
So fun! 20 points to the first person who can name all of our references.
-- and 21.
Rachel: 9 days - we are down to single digits people! So, this is my actual 21st birthday and I was at BYU-Idaho (note the cinder block walls). I'm pretty sure that summer I was asked more than once if I needed help finding my EFY group...
Cecily: So what are we doing to celebrate this epic birthday of yours? HM??? Explosives? Underwater deep sea diving? Underwater deep sea diving with explosives?
Rachel: Ok Cecily, you are officially on the party planning committee!!!
Me: Oh if I had a dollar for how many times I got confused for an efy goer- I'd have several dollars. And Cecily sounds like the greatest event planner I've ever heard of! One request: can we have Rachel jump through a flaming ring over a shark's tank to light the fuse for the explosives? I've seen it done on the tv, and it looks super fun! Plus she could get another use out of that rhinestone covered polyester jumpsuit she bought herself for Christmas during her "old Elvis" phase.
Rachel's mom: I'm sure I've seen a better picture of you on your 21st. I'm remembering a glittering tiara and purple boa...
Rachel: Mom - the picture you are referring to is not for public viewing. Molly - I've ALWAYS wanted to jump the shark!
Me: I have always lived by the mantra: if it's good enough for the Fonz, it's good enough for me! This explains my propensity for denim, leather and Scott Baio. (I DO want Charles in Charge of me.) As your friend I feel the need to share my Truth with you.
I still love the idea of someone going through an "Old Elvis" phase - especially Rachel who is the least likely exhibitionist I've ever met.
Happy Birthday, my friend. Now what are you going to do to keep me on FBook?