The DAR and Me.

I've never wanted to be part of the DAR, it's not a goal I had, or presumably ever will have. When I turned 18, my grandmother suggested that I sign up and pay the annual dues, so that by the time I was her age and interested in it, I'd have my 50 year pin. When I didn't take her up on that idea, I think she was very disappointed.
In high school, my trio and I were invited to many of the functions to sing patriotic songs, or swing era songs. It was a gig, we got a few dollars, so we did it.
A couple of weeks ago, the DAR had a memorial evening to celebrate the lives of the members who had passed away the previous year. My father and I were invited to sing at it, since we had sung at my grandmother's funeral a few weeks prior. I was the first of my family to arrive, with piano in tow. I went to check in with them, and they said, "great, you can set the piano up over there, and we'll just need your $20 for dinner."
Um...what??
I said that I wouldn't eat dinner and refused to pay. My aunt, who was accompanying us, said later, "I'm sure it's like a wedding and they already paid for x amount of dinners, so we'll just pay for you." My dad also said he would pay. I wouldn't let them. And I didn't eat. It's not the $20, it's the fact that we were invited to perform, and were in no way going to be attending without said invitation, and then I was expected to pay $20 for a two-star hotel's dinner. Homey don't play that.
You'd think the pretense of the organization would also include a knowledge of Emily Post and decorum, but alas, I suppose not.

GleeCap Season Finale - only not really

My computer is sort of crapping out, and I'm tired, so I'll come back tomorrow about 1pm after work and do the complete Gleecap for reals, but aside from Kurt's hair and Brittney's outfit, it's not looking good.

Also, can we talk about how awesome Pinterest is? Color me obsessed.

GleeCap: Prom Queen

Oh Glee.  I'm not very sure about you right now, but here's the recap for this week anyway:

More realistic than Mercedes' speech about her desires for the perfect prom. (Scratch that...nothing is more realistic than that.)
-Sue Sylvester giving Will a thing of 'I Can't believe it's not butter' for his "head merkin." OH SNAP! +20
-Kurt's silk paratrooper jumpsuit. +15
-"Devil in a red dress" and then "Go with God, Satan...Santana." ZING! +5
-Santana saying that Altamont "went off without a hitch." Oh yikes. But 100% what a sassy and ignorant teenager would say. +12
-Puck's phrase, "lovable but dangerous miscreant" and then utilizing the play on words "ass-istant bad ass." +7.
-"Teen gay, you may now proceed to the next check point without fear of violence." +3
-Probably the most believable musical performance thus far in the show's history would have to be Artie's much needed grand romantic gesture, "Isn't She Lovely." They utilized instruments and voices we saw on the screen. What a novel concept! And, during it, Mercedes commented on how it was about a baby, not a lover. +65
-Royal Wedding + Alexander McQueen = Gay Braveheart  +10
- Quinn's wallpaper was super cute. I'm kind of jealous. +7
-"Torah Torah Torah! It's go time" as Puck's call to action. Hilarious. I want to use that in my daily life. +13
-"Worst P.O.W. ever. John McCain is rolling over in his grave right now." This is the Sue we all know and love. +5
-Rachel's dress is so, so adorable. I wish she would have put a little petticoat underneath it. And if she got that for $5 at goodwill, I've got to go to that goodwill!! +7
-Brittany's dress is also SO, SO adorable. She had the contrasting petticoat underneath her skirt, and it was amazing. Brittany's the best. +10
-Artie's red tux is so stinking cute. What a charmer. +15
-Speaking of cute, Blain, especially when he sings enthusiastically. +5
-"Just because I hate everybody doesn't mean they have to hate me too." +10

+209


Less realistic than the AV club painting scenery and singing backup.  (Scratch that...nothing is less realistic than that.)
-Since when is everyone a junior? That's poor planning, and not at all realistic. But also, it lacks continuity. Last year when Rachel was a sophomore, Finn was a junior. Did Finn get retained, and they forgot to mention it? Continuity.-50
-Everyone is campaigning for prom king and queen? Is that how every high school but mine works? I won't take away points, just in case this actually happens...but I have my serious doubts.
-Jacob is the most obnoxious and nerdy person at WMHS, how is he not getting slushied? He's all up in everyone's business all the time. I want to throw a slurpee in his face right this minute, and yet choir kids who mind their own business, and get uproarious applause at assemblies when they perform Ke$ha or Salt-n-Pepa get slushied very frequently? I don't buy it. -12
-Principle Figgins is the person who is picking the band for the prom? Is this not the job for the leadership class? -7
-Principle Figgins paying Air Supply $400 to play at a prom, I don't buy it. And then going straight to the glee club instead of, I don't know, A DJ? I really don't buy that. -20
-Lauren is looking for a prom dress at Anne Taylor Loft, Filene's Basement, and Forever 21. Does Forever 21 have a plus size collectiong? No wonder homegirl couldn't find a dress.  -4
-Kurt calling Blain, "Blain Warbler" That is cheesy and confusing. -6
-Sam: My birthday was last week. Rachel: It was?  F- writers. Rachel was with Finn when they took him back his guitar that they got out of hawk. Continuity. -25
-Sam's hair is looking more and more like a Hanson or James Van Der Beek circa Dawson's Creek, and it is not attractive. Break out those shears, and snip snip. No points, I'm just saying.
-Kurt is like Joan and Melissa Rivers? Is Tina a 45 year old woman? Who cares about Joan and Melissa Rivers? If anything we should be talking about Joan in the context of E!'s Fashion Police, that's a little bit more like something Tina would know about. -7
-Rachel and Jesse RUINED Rolling in the Deep. Ruined. -10
-Jesse's back because he flunked out of college and wants to start a consulting business for show choirs? That smells fishier than the Discovery Channel. And Rachel believes it? Oh, Rachel. Yikes. -9
-Jesse's forehead wrinkles...Another petty comment, sure, but we're supposed to believe that this man is a college freshman. No way. -5
-Karofsky is in calculus as a junior? Impressive, and not quite realistic that an oafish jock who is ignorant in so many ways would be ahead of the vast majority of high schoolers. I would have believed pre-calc, but not calc as a junior. -18
-"The really good thing about being in glee club is you get to know your way around a cummerbund." When have they worn tuxedos? They've worn suits at least once, their "Stop in the name of Love" number for Biest comes to mind, but I cannot recall a single instance of tuxedos. But, maybe Finn was trying to just make small talk with Q's mom, so only a -2.
-Quinn's prom dress and hair. Ick. And then Rachel's and Tina's hair was exactly the same, with those wispy curly things.  Ick 2.0. You have professional hairstylists on staff. -4
-Not only do I not believe that Figgins would ask the glee club to sing at prom, but I don't believe that in a school where these kids are made fun of so consistently would the crowd be so in to their performances. Then again, Friday is SUPER catchy. -15
-Sue Sylvester threatening dental torture - you're pushing it writers. -3
-Sue Sylvester saying "You'll be one Mohawk short at nationals." Since Kurt is back, they have 13 kids now, so if Sue is thinking this will disqualify them from nationals, then she's wrong, but maybe she just wants Puck out of the picture? Either way, I'm confused. -2
-"Beat it, MJ." That sounds like the worst possible a bad catchphrase, or T-shirt slogan. Jesse, you can do better, even if you are going toe to toe with the less than clever Finn, you can do better. You are diabolical, we can see it in your eyes. When we hear you say lame things like that, we lose faith in you. -15
-Karofsky won prom king?!? WTeff? Again, I'm not entirely sure what the high school experience is like for everyone else in this country, but we all voted for nice kids to win king and queen. No one who walks down the hall bullying choir kids and threatening death to the token gay kid. -50
-Kurt Hummel as prom queen?!? WTeff squared! Figgins said, an "over-whelming amount of write-in votes" No way is there more than a small group of those kids mean enough to do that. And, again, where are the leadership kids who are counting the ballots. Speaking as a former leadership kid, we threw out all of the boys for queen, not to mention the cartoon characters/politicians/bodily function candidate votes. -75 (And I'm pretty sure Queens don't get scepters, and big ugly king crowns. Minus another 12.)
-Kurt's "support" of Karofsky turned to peer pressure really fast, which I feel parallels the agenda of the show. Back off a little bit. Especially with Santana. She's more interesting and funny as a bitchy slut than a lesbian anyway.  -9
-Karofsky and Jesse both said euphemisms for swear words, which is really out of character. It is more obvious than not including them at all. Just saying...

-310

With the prom king and queen decisions being so outrageous, this week's episode is solidly in the unrealistic/you guys should really think about this stuff before you produce it realm.
Do you disagree with me??

Have You Heard: Ke$ha

I have a cousin* who is constantly telling me about hot new music I should check out. YEARS AGO she told me to check out Ke$ha. And I did. From her first album I liked her little poppy, catchy singles, but not much else. But then Cannibal happened, and while I still mainly like the singles, I totally love the token sentimental girl ballad called "The Harold Song." Check it out. It's pretty good, and I think it does her justice as she's been a cultural icon for weeks now.



Just for kicks, from Animal the song "Stephen" is crazy funny.  Homegirl is psychotic in that video!!

*She also told me about Little Jackie years ago, and years ago I listened to her on that one. Little Jackie is so delightful! 

I found these leather bean bag poufs at an estate sale recently, and I have to say that I love them.  They aren't really poufs, but they serve the same functions and purposes, and they are pretty adorable to boot.

GleeCap: Born This Way

Good morning, Glee fans! It's time for another recap of the show that is burning the candle at both ends.

Just as awesome as Kurt resembling Rufus Wainwright more and more as the seasons progress:

- As soon as Rachel got hit in the nose, I thought of Marsha Brady, "Oh my nose!" It's been done before, but it's a classic.+3
- Kurt's hair combed back = awesome. +5, and that watch fob + another 5
- "I've got to gay, I mean go." +4
- The mash-up of I feel Pretty and Unpretty was a really solid choice. It is so refreshing to hear them being creative with arrangements, and utilizing harmony. Even though it is pretty cheesy, I'm going to go with a +15.
- Even though I think the Lauren/Puck relationship is the weirdest thing ever, at least Puck didn't fetishize her in this episode, a very welcome change. +25
- Puck is getting some great reactions these days. The dry heaving at the sight of Karofsky and Santana being each others' beards. +3
- At first I thought the union of Karofsky and Santana would be a really bad move, but then they brought in the Guardian Angels reference with the red berets and red vinyl jackets, and while I don't believe for a second that their characters would have any idea who the Guardian Angels were, I'm going to have to go with a big +33 for sheer hilarity for the Bully-Whips.
-Kurt's calling Santana a "Latina Eve Harrington," you are so delightful, Mr. Hummel. +4
-Kurt referenced PFLAG, and all I could do was think about Reality Bites, when Steve Zahn and Janeane Garofalo were role playing Sammy telling his mom he was gay, and Vickie saying, "puh-flag, I like the sound of that." No points, just a nostalgic little journey. 
- And I really liked Lauren and Puck being all Saved By The Bell and breaking in to the school records. "My permanent record has three volumes? I don't remember doing half of this stuff." +5
- Brittany is my favorite. "Why because you're Lebanese and I think I'm bi-curious?" +15
-"I have to stay away from vigorous choreography while my nose heals." Well, there goes her social life. +12
- At first, I thought a lack of Sue Sylvester was a bad thing, but thinking about how in recent episodes I've felt like they were really reaching with her, I'm glad they made Santana the zinger of the week. +20
-Santana zingers:  "Legend has it, when I came out of my mother, I told the nurse she was fat." "Be more careful with your leering." and "I'm not ready to start eating jicama or get a flat top...maybe in Jr. College. + 76

+230

More unlikely than another school's choir showing up the middle of the day, and being accompanied by musicians who just happen to be outside with their instruments:

- Last season, Rachel said something to Quinn like, "I completely understand if you want to beat me up, just try to avoid my nose." Why is she now all of a sudden insecure and ready for surgery at the drop of a line by Dr. D-bag? Continuity. -5
- Finn's dance number with Mike Chang to "I gotta be me" was confusing. Is he trying to be as bad of a dancer as he appears, or is he hamming it up to make a point? I think it is the latter. I don't know that it is worthy of any negative points, but I feel like they could have done better.
- Karofsky looks at least thirty. His age isn't on his IMDb page. What are you trying to hide, Max Adler? The fact that you graduated from high school like 12 years ago, but are still trying to pass as a teenager? -6
- I always enjoy when Kurt sings show tunes (except for that awful one from Evita they did a few months ago.) and with his Eve Harrington reference, I totally buy him as Norma Desmond, but must the production be SO LITERAL? When someone is singing about painted trees and scenery, he's on stage with said scenery, then the makeup chair? F minus on creativity. -17
- I love flash mobs, but this one made me a little angry. First, it made me think of their last flash mob with Artie dancing, and it made me think, we need to have more dream sequences of him dancing. You show Finn and Sam dancing all the time and they are AWFUL, but you have a very solid dancer in Artie and you have him in a wheel chair? If you're going to keep him in the wheelchair all of the time, you should have cast a kid who is actually in a wheelchair. And Second, if these kids are so good at getting the community to help them out and learning a dance for a "barbra-vention" (worst name ever) they certainly could have gotten people to come to their concert last week. Continuity. -45
- I'm still really conflicted about Lauren's character. She has the deluded self-image of Samantha Jones, but no career, super hot body (post fifty at that), or Birkin to show for it. Then she calls Quinn a fraud for losing weight and using Proactive (product placement, a bit much)? As if Quinn being depressed by excess weight, acne and a lack of friends is unheard of or unacceptable.  -30
-Finn telling Quinn that her 8th great picture is the first picture where he can "actually see" his girlfriend? What?!? -40
- To continue on with outside cultural references. Puck is turning/has turned in to Julie Cooper. He started out villainous and is now a very funny and well-meaning guy? This makes me totally happy in that Puck is great. BUT, Fox canceled The OC after the villain went funny. And now with Karofsky? If Sue ever starts to turn the show needs to be canceled immediately. No points, but tread carefully.

-143

And now the T-shirts:
Emma gave the t-shirt assignment by stipulating that the t-shirt should read what you're "most ashamed of, and would like to change, but you can't because you were born that way, which is super terrific." "You were born this way, hooray!"

-Lebanese +13
-I'm with Stoopid [up arrow] +25
-Butt Chin -18 (any thing that makes you resemble - even a little bit - Cary Grant cannot be a bad thing.)
-Likes boys -60 (Ever since Kurt came out to Mercedes and his dad, he's been spouting how proud he was to be himself. Why would he put that on a t-shirt saying he's ashamed and would like to change it? He's embraced it.)
-I'm with Stupid [down arrow] +50
-Four eyes, Nose, Brown eyes, Can't dance, Can't Sing +20  (Artie, Rachel, Tina, Finn and Mike were the kids who actually did what was assigned.)
- No weave (Mercedes' shirt confused me. She's ashamed she wasn't born with a weave? Or she's saying this is my real hair? I don't think I understand.)
-Trouty Mouth -5 (Love the reference, but Sam is so cute sans James Van der Beek's first season of Dawson's Creek hair.)
- Lucy Caboosey -28 (she changed what she didn't like. That's not the point of the t-shirt.)
- Bad Attitude -15 (she could change that if she wanted to.)

+108/-126

So with a grand total of +69, I'd say that the episode was more enjoyable than not. 90 minutes suits you, Glee. Shoot, you were even able to squeeze in all 7 verses of that Sunset Blvd. song.

GleeCap: Night of Neglect

Glee is back, and because of the overwhelmingly positive feedback to the previous Glee recap, or GleeCap, so is my snarky commentary.

As great as the mental image of Mercedes being "carried the hell in" in an egg:

- Sandy Ryerson - the actor Stephen Toblowsky played "Needlenose Ned" Ryerson in the perennial classic "Groundhog Day," I just figured this out. Way to go writers, being all sneaky with your clever - was described as a "notorious friend of Dorothy," and then described himself as a "predatory gay". +50
- The "Brainiacs" included Brittany! +12 
- "Cat diseases" was a category of questions! +15
- Brittany knowing the answers to all of the cat diseases questions +30
- That Brainiac hand signal - SO GOOD! + another 50. This was really the best part of the episode.
- The "League of Doom" with, "Sergeant Handsome, Honey Badger, The Pink Dagger, and General Zod". +25 (although the General Zod reference alone is worth 20.)
- Cheyenne Jackson saying, "Let me cut to the sexy chase" +6
- Cheyenne Jackson saying, "This hairline is 85% my own." +10
- Cheyenne Jackson saying, "I'm handsome, I'm good looking, I'm easy on the eyes, also I'm gorgeous." +15
- The diva list: Aretha, Mariah, J.Lo, and Mercedes. One of these things is not like the other...and I'm not talking about Mercedes.  +3
-Artie saying that Sunshine with her size she could have "stayed in the air ducts for days" with a level of earnestness that can only be compared to Will or Finn. +2
-GP 's earrings during her Adele song +3
-When GP told the heckling club that she had given Debbie Gibson Alopecia, I just about giggled my face off. But then I thought, I bet it was Debbie Gibson's perfume, Electric Youth, that made her lose all of her hair. so, it's a wash.
- Jewfro kid has a vanity plate reading, "JEWFRO" +10
- When the full orchestra showed up to back up GP, I thought, "teenagers? on glee? there's a first time for everything." +8
- Sandy Ryerson running away, holding out his coat like a cape. +18 And then laundering his drug money though the Brainiac's field trip. +1 more.
-Puck's reaction to Mercedes' singing. +5
-Sue zingers: To Sandy, "How do you manage to enter a building with out setting off all of the fire alarms." on her evening activities, "I'm usually out bow hunting for hobos." and about Holly, "She's looser than a thrift store turtleneck and probably just as diseased." +35

+298 Not too shabby.


More anti-climactic than Gwyneth Paltrow's return:

- 5,000 x .25 = 20,000  It's a good thing Mr. Schuester teaches Spanish and not math. Yikes.-10
- I cannot say I've watched too many episodes of Glee more than once, but I'm pretty sure that Sandy Ryerson, because of the sexual harassment and the pot selling isn't allowed on school property. Am I wrong? Continuity -5
- While I am totally a fan of GP dressing up like Wallis Simpson, I am confused that she is teaching about Catherine the Great the next day. What kind of class is it that she is teaching about an American socialite/hermaphrodite Nazi sympathizer one day and a Russian empress from the 18th Century the next? -10
- Sue handing out beepers to her league of doom. What is this, 1996? -5
- Cheyenne Jackson is on yet another episode and he doesn't sing? You'd better have plans to remedy this, Glee writers.-5
- A Night of Neglect - WHAT? -23
- I am not only willing to believe, but embrace, the bedazzled microphone situation at Rachel's house, but at school? And more than one? And a bedazzled mic stand? Did the set designer find a great deal on rhinestones? -18
- Mike Chang is a TERRIFIC dancer, a dancer that I really can't criticize... at all. But I will request that he NEVER dance to Jack Johnson again. -6
- Emma never slept with her husband John Stamos? PUH-LEASE! -45
- I've long suspected, but now it is being validated very regularly, that no one writing the show has ever been involved with any sort of choir. This episode's glaring proof of this comes from the complete lack of audience members. There is no way that a concert could happen and most parents wouldn't come to see it. Finn's mom and Kurt's dad (aka the best dad on TV) - they should have been there, along with Quinn's mom. Mercedes' parents should have been there, if her whole church choir can come and back her up, her parent's could have been there. (fact: I just want to see her parents.) -100
-Along the same lines, glaring proof comes in the form of concert structure. Two numbers, an intermission and then two more numbers and that's it? At least PRETEND that the rest of the glee clubbers are performing something, have them dress up. And, they wouldn't be in the choir room the whole time, you watch the show from the wings. -50
- During the rest of the show, where was the church choir? They could have taken a few of the seats. Or, perhaps they could have been warming up in the choir room.  -10
- Jewfro kid had a twitter "curly hair in cairo" that helped bring down Mubarak. I'm willing to suspend disbelief, but only so far. -17
- I also don't believe that Becky, Jewfro, and football player would all leave together. -6


-310

For a grand total of -12. Ouch Glee. Better luck next time.