Monday, March 25, 2013

It's a soft g.

As I was running some errands today, I stopped off at Trader Joe's for some groceries. I approached the cashier and found myself behind a teacher from an area high school that I had worked with for a week when I was a sub. He was a baseball coach, which I am sure he's good at, because he is not the greatest teacher on the block. He was teaching English and mispronounced gerund. I digress; I'm not here to make fun of his teaching skills, or lack of comprehending rudimentary pronunciation guidelines for his native tongue and teaching subject matter. I should state that I didn't realize I was behind him until... well let me start over.

At Trader Joe's I was buying more than the three things I had gone in for and was regretting not getting a basket. My arms chock full of produce, and some dried mangoes (damn you Joe!) I looked for the shortest line. I am very skilled in always picking the wrong line--I had done it at Whole Foods 15 minutes earlier*, I always get the chatty cashier, or the person who doesn't know how a debit card works, or the classic "shoot I forgot mushrooms, can you go wait while I take forty five minutes to go grab some?" egomaniac. It's a problem I have. I saw a line with one guy in it. In his arms were two bottles of wine. BINGO! That's the line. So the cashier speedily rings up the wine and announces the money due. "$4.98." The guy hands the cashier a $5. I look at the bill, and I am gobsmacked that I have not misheard the total. Five dollars? For two full sized bottles of wine?!? I have to look at this fellow patron to see what kind of person would buy that kind of wine, and there he is: the man who doesn't know when to use a hard G and when not to. Fascinating.

*At Whole Foods it was a chatty cashier who decided to engage the customer before me in a conversation about the documentary Forks Over Knives. I fully support that sort of conversation, but I'm not sure it was the most appropriate timing, given that there were three people waiting. I just wanted to buy my ginger, beets and Portland Bee Balm! Although it gave me time to try to decipher whether this chatty cashier was wearing crazy eyeliner or if she had a face tattoo. Jury is still out, though I hope that it was make up.

Sunday, March 24, 2013


When I was in New York, I was able to visit with my dear friend Rachel. She is a super cool chick, and I really enjoy our time together. She was telling me about her new blog venture Made Weekly which has garnered plenty of positive attention in the tumblr sphere in its short life span. Rachel's concept is great - five recipes, five days, one ingredient. At our lunch we discussed our mutual love of fennel, and I told her about how a few days before I went to Mario Batali's tiny tapas place, Bar Jamon, with Ashley to commemorate our trip to Spain a few years back. We enjoyed lots of delicious things, including the greatest pan con tomate ever*, but specifically a plate of malvarosa cheese with fennel infused honey. It was a taste sensation, let me tell you. A combination I would never be creative enough to think of, but I certainly enjoyed it. Thank you Batali!

And thank you, Rachel! Last week's ingredient was fennel on Made Weekly. Go check it out. Be inspired to add it to a marinara sauce over pasta, throw it in a chicken salad, or do any of the beautiful suggestions offered up by Rachel.

*Even the salt was extraordinary, I kid you not.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Hug a tree.

Today was fairly warm, sunny and wonderful in Manhattan. Ashley and I decided to take advantage of the sun and walk around Central Park after lunch. We started in the North Woods. We were walking along a trail when we noticed a woman hugging a tree. I mean, this woman was literally hugging a tree. She was out for a walk with her dog. Her dog was patiently waiting, rested and ready to go, and she was just embracing this tree. As we approached, I expected to see a companion with a camera, or something to explain this visage. No companion. No camera. Just her patient dog, and a long suffering tree. After about 90 seconds she let go of the tree and continued on her walk. As she passed us, she carried with her the strongest scent of marijuana this side of a Phish concert.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Sometimes I am an idiot.

Correction: Most times. Most times I am an idiot. But sometimes my actions instill fear (in me and probably others) for my failing mind and make me woefully aware of what a burden I am.

I am sitting at the Portland International Airport, waiting. I am about to head 3,000 miles East to visit with a few of my dearest friends. I have checked my luggage, but I have yet to go through security. Why the wait, you may wonder. Well let me first tell you that I did remember a few things that I usually forget: my dslr, its charger and usb cable, my fitbit's charger, my iPhone charger, my supplements, gum, a coat and a jacket. Pretty good right? Laptop and power cord? Check and check.

Unfortunately, I forgot my phone. Yep. My phone. That little delightful concoction of plastic, metal and glass that would tell me where Jen lives/where I am supposed to travel to when I arrive at JFK. I realized this as my sweet, (and sick with a bad cold) mother dropped me off. She decided to race to go get my phone and bring it back to me, like a saint. And I decided to sit near the ticket counters, hoping the line for security stays really short and that I'll be able to dash through it and make it to my gate in time.

Oy vey, Molls. I used to have such hope for you... And thanks mom, for helping me, yet again.

This made me think of the time when I left my phone at my house in Provo when I was flying home for Christmas one time. I would love to be more responsible or even more remember-ible. If I had remembered my phone, I could be playing songpop and not have elevated cortisol levels, and I could have not made my mother drive the 20 miles each way to the airport 4 times. Oh and did I mention I didn't have enough gas in my car to make all of those trips? Well I didn't.

I would make a terrible boy scout.