Saturday, October 31, 2009


Yesterday as I was sending a little red power ranger on to the school bus, the elderly bus driver asked me what I was dressed up as. I was wearing a black dress, red tights, and black heels, dressing as I normally dress. I replied, "I'm not dressed up." Which of course made her visibly uncomfortable.

Maybe now she knows how uncomfortable I am every day when she chats with me.

For some really delightful and horrifying (but in the best way) halloween costumes compiled into one amazing place, check out miss james' blog. Not convinced? How about a preview:

Seriously, go they are amazing!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Ryan Gosling Day!

I don't have a tremendous amount of time right now, but how about a quick little post to:
1. Big sad face for Shara not being able to get a ticket before it sold out.
2. Big thanks to Becky for coming, you're always willing to be my friend, and I appreciate that.
3. BIG BIG thanks to Analee for making this -

which of course prompted the Dead Man's Bones men to invite me on stage and have the entire audience sing Happy Birthday to me! (and LOTS of "Happy Birthdays" from strangers after the show!) And then I got hugs and kisses from both of these dreamy men:

One of whom happens to be my celebrity crush!!!

Why no, I can't think of a better way to usher in a birthday. In fact, I would say that this has been my GREATEST BIRTHDAY EVER, and my actual birthday isn't until Wednesday! haha. Thanks Analee!! You're so brave and so much fun, and SUCH a good friend! Loves & loves!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Craigslist is so funny.

I've been looking for a wrought iron bed recently, and craigslist is one of the places I look pretty regularly. Yesterday in my search I found an ad posted by someone I know. One of the sentences from the ad is as follows, "I love this bed!! It is heavy, sturdy and gorgeous. If I had a room for it or even a grand daughter or guest room there is no way I would sell it. It is awesome."
This person has 4 grand daughters and at least 3 guest bedrooms. I'm just saying...

For reasons I won't share on the interweb, I decided to look and see if I recognized anyone in the "men seeking women" section... I did not recognize anyone, but I did find a couple of HILARIOUS posts that I just had to share:

Are you what I've been looking for? - 23 (Portland)
Date: 2009-10-13, 3:34PM PDT

I've been searching all my life...

I need a lesbian, nazi, hooker, abducted by a ufo, and forced into a weightloss program...

Don't make me wait any longer!

and of course the predictable:
Semi athletic but shy young man seeks playful cougar for passion - 30
(sw portland)
Date: 2009-10-13, 3:54PM PDT

Im a semi athletic and healthy and disease free, single 30 year old man with my own place here in downtown portland, im 5'10 with blue eyes and brown hair, fit body and 175 lbs, with a 7 inch [CENSORED].

Married or not, but age doesnt matter to me.

Im athletic, romantic, educated at PSU with a bachelors degree, I have a job, love coffee, drinks, movies, and sex!!!!!

Suffice it to say, I replied to both of those ads.

Friday, October 9, 2009

For your consideration:

Some amazings, some funs, and some pretties:

Tuesday, Dead Man's Bones' LONG AWAITED (at least by Analee & I) debut album came out. I am IN LOVE WITH IT! I'm not usually a girl that goes for the creepy/zombie thing, but this album kicks! It brings a smile to my face, and I've been listening to it practically non-stop since Tuesday. (I even took it in to my facial appointment on Tuesday so my aesthetician/cousin Julia could hear it!) Key tracks: Lose Your Soul (musical perfection + pure sex!), In The Room Where You Sleep, and Paper Ships. Go HERE to download the delightful My Body's a Zombie for you for FREE!!!

Oh did I forget to mention that Ryan Gosling & Zach Shields are the cute boys behind Dead Man's Bones? Did I also forget to mention that they are coming to Portland on the 25th?!? Happy [early] Birthday to me!

Um, this cute girl made my whole day:

This is my favourite and my best:


Two new TV shows that I LOVE:

Man Shops Globe - It follows the found objects buyer for Anthropologie, Keith Johnson, as he finds awesome stuff, like this amazing bed, which I am now trying to figure out how to justify buying:

And, Bored to Death. It is HBO's version of Murder She Wrote for the hipster demographic. It is delightful.

And how about a shout out? This lovely lady, one of my favorite people, has a new website up for her beautiful photography! She is such a talented person, and her portraits are intriguing and beautiful. Look:

SO CHARMING! P.S. Lindz, is the uber talented girl who made this poster-sized picture of me out of construction paper many, many moons ago.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

As requested: the bathroom mini-reno in detail:

I got so many emails telling me how much you approved of the new bathroom. Thank you so much for your validation! You guys are too good to me. Here, for your inquiring minds are some detail shots of my handiwork. As you all know, I am no photographer, (especially since I irreversibly messed with my point and shoot - oops)

What you've seen:

The mirror I made:

It's so so so simple to make frames. I saw a similar mirror at a few stores for lots and lots of dollars, mine cost about 10 dollars to make. That includes a $5 garage sale mirror, $4 of reclaimed wood, some left over MDF from my coffee table project last year, some screws and about $2 of reclaimed wood for a french cleat to hang it.

The light someone threw away. haha. Not really, they donated it.

The faucet I am in LOVE with:

The marbleized porcelain tiles I found at the Habitat store. It's the look of marble with a fraction of the carbon foot print! Who doesn't love that?

I love cup pulls.

My mother loves tropical, beachy settings. She was born in Key West, and the fact that we spent most of our summers in Hawaii when I was a kid, I understand where the draw comes from. She also leans toward the traditional as far as design aesthetics go. So I tried to cater to both of those things, and go for a coastal/colonial look, and use our collections of sands and shells from our travels.

And then I made these ridiculous little prints on left over raw silk from Brittney's art project, to continue the theme.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Well Ali, since you asked...

What I used my polyurethane for recently were these little projects:

1. We used this lazy susan (which matched our very old kitchen table) like 15 years ago for reals, but since it got a little ruined, and then didn't match the dining room table, we now use it for games. The perfect little project to teach my friend Birgitte the basics of wood refinishing!

Before: Ugly, scorched oak...

After: A little bit better...

It still doesn't match the dining room table, so we'll still probably use our marble lazy susan for family dinners, but as far as giving a new life to a still functioning piece of practicality, why not?

2. I used my poly on my bathroom vanity. Our guest bathroom has been the home of some SERIOUS UGLY for a long time. It's now only that I'm old and my mom has seen my handiwork on lots of pieces that she trusted me to remedy the main offenders in our guest bath.

Before: 80s oak monstrosity...

After: a little bit better...

To be fair, I did more than just refinish the vanity. I retiled, built a mirror, replaced the sink, faucet, light fixure, and electrical switches, and painted and wallpapered. I used all salvaged wood, bought the tiles from the Habitat for Humanity ReStore, got the sink and light at the ReBuilding Center on Mississippi, and got the mirror itself at a garage sale. In fact, the only store purchases for this were the wallpaper, the faucet and the drawer pulls and knobs. I love how many resources for recycling there are in Portland!

The celebratory karaokeing.

After our victory on the Office front, Becky, Shara and I decided to head over to the Cheerful Tortoise to do a little karaoke. To say we had a lot of fun would be a huge understatement. But, I'm afraid I won't be able to fully convey the amount of fun had through this blog -- but you know I'm going to try.

We got there and quickly made friends with the two couples at the table next to ours who were four pitchers and several glasses of wine in to their evening. They seemed like they would do anything, so I suggested they sing "Bohemian Rhapsody" after a girl completely butchered "You're my Best Friend" by Queen. They didn't go for it, and I was a little sad. We each did a little number, I chose one of my all time favorite songs, "Brand New Key" and the karaoke DJ told me it was a good song, and the whole lot of baby boomers who were there sang along with me. (At this point I should state that the karaoke dj, whose song choices led us to believe he was Becky's karaoke soul mate, seemed familiar to Becky. In fact, she thought he was the same guy as the cross dresser who had been the DJ on a previous visit to the Cheerful Tortoise.) After a few minutes, our drunk friends called it a night, and it brought the active karaoke-ers down to the three of us, the DJ, the crazy muttering homeless woman who didn't actually sing the songs so much as sometimes slur a few of the lyrics, and Andy, a white kid who rapped Eminem and MC Hammer with the best of them.

After a while - lots of songs by Andy and the three of us solo and in various pairings, a group of five guys showed up. Four of them were young, and one was middle aged. We were immediately intrigued by the dynamic of their group. Two of them started their karaoke night off with a Toby Keith (I think?) song, and decided to serenade Shara on bended knee. It was DELIGHTFUL. Next was Shara and I singing "Alone" by Heart. Everything was normal until Shara and the tall kid who serenaded her started talking during my portion of the song. Then I announced, "I'm singing," like the diva I am, (it was mostly a joke, and it got chuckles). The tall kid told me I should sing to him. And that is how Shara and I got new gay boyfriends. (Shara even got a phone number during our song!) A few songs later, who ended up being the birthday boy, Connor, and the kid who gave Shara his number did a version of "I'll Cover You" from Rent, which we felt we should answer with "Take me Baby, or leave me" which would have been a lot better if I actually knew the song... Oh well. (Shara, next time I promise I'll know the lesbian love song better!)

The highlight of the evening for me had to be Becky, who after one of her numbers was asked by the not-currently-cross-dressing-dj-who-is-her-karaoke-soul-mate asked her if she liked Sheryl Crow. Not more than 10 seconds later, they were sharing a mic, he was holding her neck, and they were singing that Kid Rock, Sheryl Crow song. PRICELESS!

Shara bought birthday boy Connor and his friends (and his dad) a round of shots, which I thought was super kind of her, and Connor and his father paid her back by singing an AMAZING version of Hall & Oates' Maneater. Delightful!!! And the four younger guys did BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY!!! I didn't even have to ask. They were so funny.

When we left, people were vocally sad to see us leave - which is ALWAYS a good thing. What do you say girls, can we go back this weekend?

Damn, it feels good to be a gangster.

Because when you share great failures you should always come back with a story of success (it's the American way):

I'm sure you're wondering how a horrible picture of a cheap trophy and a chattering teeth thing symbolizes success. I will explain.

Saturday night, Becky, Shara and I traveled to the near east* (57th & Fremont) for another one of Shanrock's trivia nights - this time, trivia based on the BBC2 office, the NBC office, and the film Office Space, and this time Shannon herself hosted. (As an aside, I would not classify myself as a great fan of the NBC office, but I have seen most of the episodes. I would also not classify myself as very knowledgeable of the BBC office or Office Space, but I did watch them both for the second time before Saturday night.)

Here's the good news, WE WON! (And I am a fan of winning!) We not only won, but we DOMINATED! We were twelve points ahead of second place, and got highest score per capita!

Our good friend Ryan is a huge office fan, but couldn't make it to the triviology because of a wedding or some other trivial (but non-"trivial") commitment, and he sent us a request to have our team name be "You've been shunned!" We of course lied and said we would, but in actuality, our team name, more befitting Shara, Becky and I was, "Damn, it feels good to be a gangster!" (If Ryan asks, please continue the falsity.) The only problem with having the name, "Damn, it feels good to be a gangster" and then getting a perfect score the first round is that it made Shara feel like we were being cocky. Maybe it was the fact that when Shannon said, "Alright, they've got the round. Damn, it feels good to be a gangster!" I responded with, "Damn right it does!" Is that conceited? hehe. We continued to win round after round, with Becky busting out "Hate ball", (and so many other answers), and my little bit of knowledge about the BBC office, like Keith saying, "Men are turned on by what they see, but women are turned on by what they hear," and then guaranteeing more than one orgasm. Shara totally knew that Creed's wallpaper was a woman breastfeeding her baby, but unfortunately we didn't trust it.

Anyway, Shannon gave us the awesome trophy which we will share,the chattering teeth toy like the one Michael has on his desk, and a gift certificate to the pub. She also took our picture and is sending it out her in weekly newsletter! WHAT WHAT!

*not a name of any of the neighborhoods in Portland. We were actually in the neighborhood of Cully. But who's counting?

Pants Not on People: Part 3

Not that any of you have read the original Pants Not on People, but, here, years later is part 3.

I passed this bus stop, saw the pants and giggled. I think it is completely apropos to the ad and the fact that we can see the zebras butt. The ad says, "See what you're missing," (that would be your pants.)

Just for fun: the lyrics to the Mystery Science Theater 3000 song, "Pants!"

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Why Yes I Did...

Run over my can of poly with my car, struggled to get the lid off, and now cannot get the lid back on. How clever of you to notice.