Monday, November 7, 2011

The Analytics of Decapitation

Now, I have very little interest in sharing my or hearing about other peoples' dreams, unless of course they are hilarious or really insightful, and I can promise you now - what I am about to share will be neither. Also, I rarely remember my dreams, and when I do I wake up in a fury and scribble them down into my journal so I can remember them. Like the one time I was being hunted by the Russian mafia - a dream that would make an outstanding movie. Or the time I joined the SATC ladies for brunch and then mass (really?). Or the recurring dream I had about marrying a guy from Idaho whose parents didn't like me and I had to buy my wedding shoes at Fred Meyer. (Three things I'd very much like to avoid.) I digress.

This morning, when my alarm went off, it woke me from a very strange dream. I dreamt that while dressed as Speed Racer* and riding on a motorcycle I was decapitated. It was one of those out-of-body dreams, lucid in the fact that I knew I was dreaming, but not lucid because I couldn't control what was happening. As my out-of-body self watched me get into this terrible accident and the ensuing action, I kept criticizing the production value of my dream. "That's not a realistic amount of blood. That jacket is still very white." "You'd be dead by now." "Why is no one calling 911? How is that not the first step?" Very similar to what I do when I watch movies. This continued at the hospital. And at my funeral. It was kind of weird. But I kept thinking about my out-of-body self, "gee whiz, you're such a downer. Stop criticizing so much - it's just a dream. You're still alive, and very much capitated." So I am wondering if my over-analytical, hyper-critical, Negative Nancy-ness is really getting on my subconscious' nerves? In which case I would like to publicly remind my subconscious that we are much more optimistic and kind than we used to be. So maybe you can stop violently killing me in my dreams? Although, no complaints about the Speed Racer outfit.

*Have you seen the live-action movie? Very under-rated.