Cultured like yogurt*

or: An excerpt from a conversation at a party on Friday night:
(The names have been cleverly changed.)

Jerry: Some guys at work call me gay because I'm cultured.
Me: What? That's stupid. What do you mean cultured?
Jerry: I like opera, and stuff like that.
Me: Oh, what operas have you seen?
Paige: Have you been to the Sydney Opera House?
Jerry: No.
Paige: I have.
Jerry: Have you been to the Metropolitan Opera?
Paige: No.
Jerry: I have.
Me: (To Paige) Did you see an Opera in Sydney?
Paige: No.
Me: (To Jerry)  Did you see an Opera at the Met?
Jerry: No.
Me: Then you both need to shut up. (To Jerry) Have you been to any operas?
Jerry: No.

So much fun was had. 

And Jerry, if you're reading this, I was this close to having your character be called "Mack Daddy." But, since I stand behind the fact that you cannot give yourself a nickname, I'll stick with Jerry [insert famous Jerrys' last name here].

*Why yes I did say that terrible pun to Jerry right after he said he hadn't been to any operas.

Real Life is for March!

I woke up this morning to a text at 5:25 from my dear friend Ashley, "March...Real life starts today ;(" I responded that "I welcome real life after the questionable decisions of yesterday. Welcome real life!" Except that the only truly questionable decision I made yesterday on Leap Day, the day where nothing counts, was to wear yellow.* Nothing counts on Leap Day! I feel like I should have taken more advantage of the holiday that embodies the ever-inspirational, and oh-so practical, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" mentality, especially when it so seldom happens. I suppose I'll just have to wait until May Day for a chance to go crazy, and live like I can "make the biggest little mistakes of your life in Reno."

*I of course paired it with blue. And when I wished several people I came across a "Merry Leap Day!" let's just say, I got some interesting looks.

Have You Heard: Jack & White

Sometimes my musical taste skews so girly I feel like I need to keep it as a guilty little secret. (She & Him. The Doors*. Robyn.) Today, I am not keeping it as a secret, even though I should, because this song is pretty cheesy and girly. And the video...well let's just say someone had way too much fun in post.



*Is it just me or do all guys hate The Doors? Sure, they aren't the greatest band musically, but they had some catchy little ditties, and I like them.

Molly & Emmett

I just finished a six week long sub job in a first grade classroom. I had a lot of fun, a lot.

One day, I was in the library trying to find picture books for an activity the next day, when I stumbled across "A Year with Molly & Emmett." I of course had to temporarily abandon the task of finding books with "wh" in the title and dive in to this book.

When I did, I was SO DISAPPOINTED. The story was terrible and not at all entertaining.* Spoiler alert - Emmett is a cat and Molly is a little girl well on her way to being a crazy cat lady. No really.  On their homepage**, Molly says, "Hi, I'm Molly! I'm six years old and my best friend is a cat named Emmett." The really upsetting part is that Emmett, in true cat style, doesn't seem to be too into Molly. He says, "Hello. My name is Emmett. I'm lucky to have a friend like Molly. Yawn...is it time for a nap again?" Is this what young people are associating with my first name? An asocial person obsessed with her cat?

Of course, there is the tragically nerdy and awkward middle child, Molly McIntire of American Girl fame. She had those homely little braids and couldn't even fashion a grass skirt that could withstand a little water from her pesky brother's prank. Honestly.

I've never been unsatisfied with my first name, but methinks there should be less dorky literary Mollys.


* Not at all like my favorite series Charlie & Lola, or the book about the American Founding Fathers as youngsters, John, Paul, George & Ben, which I love and blogged about many, many moons ago.

**Yes, I googled it.

Directors: Jim Jarmusch

A few months ago I was at a dinner and seated next to a couple that were deeply devoted Jim Jarmusch fans. When I told them I hadn't seen any of his films, they very enthusiastically recommended some.* I am always looking for recommendations from people, and so when I got home, I went on Netflix and added "Stranger than Paradise" to my queue. I was optimistic. It was described as a "minimalist comedy" and Netflix guessed that I would like it 4.5 stars worth. 4.5 stars?!? Awesome, let's do this thing! New favorite movie right here.

When I finally got around to watching it recently, I didn't love it. I don't think my not liking this film had much to do with what I call "The Adventureland Syndrome" of bloated expectations leading to utter disappointment. I do think it had to do with the fact that this movie is not my brand of fun. I returned the red envelope and promptly gave it a rating of one star - a far cry from the 4.5 they had guessed for me. But, even though I really didn't like it, ("minimalist comedy," seriously? I saw the minimalism, but where was the comedy?) I did think about the movie for a little while after watching it. Sadly, not it a good way. I kept thinking how it was a mutilated rehashing of the super classic Godard film, "Bande à part."

In "Bande à part," two guys with a desire to live like the American gangster movies they love, enlist attractive, charming, and a major girl crush of mine, Anna Karina, to help them commit a robbery.  In "Stranger than Paradise" two hipster petty criminals drive to Florida with one of their cousins a very un-charming girl and try to win at the races.  (The only actor in this film who has any craft or humanity is Richard Edsen, you know the garage attendant from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off.") Two films with awkward love triangles, both shot in black and white by choice, and one clearly influencing the other.

My question to Jim Jarmusch is, when you have such a tremendous starting off point of inspiration, how do you end up with "Stranger than Paradise?" (A title that is absolutely truthful.)  Let's talk dancing scenes alone.

The inspiration:

Bande à Part - Dance Scene from on Vimeo.

What Jarmusch did:


Another (more successful) scene influenced by Godard's film. (Tarantino named his production company A Band Apart, which produced Pulp Fiction.**)


Jarmusch chose the song super well. (It goes without saying that Tarantino chose one of the greatest songs ever.) And truth be told, I think if the actors were more charismatic/talented the movie could have worked for me, but as it stands, the 89 minutes I spent watching the film felt like 4 hours. Unless someone I know and totally trust tells me of another Jarmusch film to try, I don't think I'll willingly watch anything else.


*I did point them in the direction of his appearance on Bored to Death which was pretty funny.

**"A thirty minute film about a group of friends who like cheeseburgers, dancing and the bible." Community = hilar and abbrevs*** = my fave.

***Also Happy Endings is hilarious.

The Cadbury Gorilla

Last night I was with my friend Becky at a mattress store for her to buy a new and super comfy mattress. As we were chatting it up with the very personable sales staff, "Human Nature" by MJ came on -- one of my favorites. One salesman got all excited when it came on, and then tried to test me by asking me who sings it. I answered him, and then we started singing it together.




A few minutes later, mattress purchased, we were going to leave and INXS came on the hi fi. (Speaking of songs I love!!*) I started singing it, and then of course air-drumming because that song demands air drums.** I was promptly told that I looked like the Cadbury Gorilla. It is in these instances when I am so glad that smart phones exist. I then watched the commercial and decided that that is a pretty fair comparison, although Phil Collins is not my jam.




*Again, I never said I had good taste.
**I play the air drums with great skill, tenacity and the true spirit of rock and roll, but having never even sat behind a "there drums" drum kit, I cannot say whether or not my natural drumming ability would translate.

Have you Heard: Alabama Shakes

Last November, KEXP's Song of the Day podcast introduced me to Alabama Shakes. I immediately  fell in love with the single, "Hold On" which I then threw onto the Christmas mix. Their album doesn't come out until April, but to keep myself sane as I wait with breath that is bated, I troll youtube and grooveshark. I have officially become obsessed with these kids. Also, since I've, ever so reluctantly, had to give up on my life goal of being 5'6", it is now my goal to sound more like Brittany Howard. I dream big, friends, big and not at all realistically.

This song, "I Found You" is my favorite.