Open Season:

To the writers of Gossip Girl:
Dan + Vanessa with her awful extensions + Hilary Duff = EW.

To Matthew Weiner:
Good job. Wow. Wow. Good job.

To AMC:
Please order more episodes of Mad Men. 13 is not enough. Thank you.

To my wrist:
I don't know how you got sprained, but I do know that you hurt like nobody's business. I hope you like the stupid brace I'm wearing for you. Let's be friends again soon.

To the pretentious 18 year old featured on Caridgan Empire today:
I really liked this outfit.

To Charlie Kaufman:
I just watched Being John Malkovich again, and you are AWESOME.

To Wade Robson:
Your dance last week was my favorite of this season, and last season.

To the sales girl at Ray's Ragtime.
You're not cool.

To the kid who plays Artie on Glee:
I am SHOCKED that I like your David Bowie cover so much. Good job.

To pears:
I am addicted to you.

To my hair:
I'm sorry that I tease and curl you all the time. Thanks for doing whatever I tell you to do.

To Cory:
Yes, Dead Man's Bones really is my greatest concert yet. You were there, you know why.

To Charlie Kelly:
I'd like to place an order for "Kitten Mittons." I'm smitten!