Monday, August 19, 2013

Weber Cooks

At a family dinner the other night, Ke$ha came up in conversation as Ke$ha is wont to do. (I have often said that the Venn diagram of my brother and I as far as tastes go, the only thing in the common area is The Muppets. When you throw our cousin Jill in to the mix, the common areas are The Beach Boys and Ke$ha.) As the conversation progressed, Jill was sending the lyrics of the song 'Stephen' to her friend Stephen, and Stephen had no idea what was going on. My brother said, "Oh speaking of that song, have you guys seen Weber cooks?" When we all said 'no', we opened up my laptop and watched in horror. Here was everyone's favorite Ke$ha song, being the sound track the a truly train wreck of a video. And then there were more than one.  My mom, brother and I were all horrified, and Jill was like, "Why is that gross?" It was pretty funny.

These videos are simultaneously hilarious and super, super depressing. People don't actually eat that food, right? And people don't use their microwaves that much- and with plastic, right? And, people don't actually film the saddest man on the planet making inedible foods, edit it poorly, mix the audio terribly and put it on tv, right? I think I might be wrong on all counts.

Potatoes and Creamed corn: 13 minutes of microwave use
1:17 notice the CU of nothing. It's my favorite part.
1:26 "And when it is done..."

Chili and Cheese Nacho dip: 4.5 minutes of microwave use

Quick note to Steven, you could spend the last 45 seconds of your segment and stir that gross junk together properly, I mean, if you wanted...

Rice a Roni: 23 minutes of microwave use

0:30 He puts the plastic knife in the "thing" with the rice into the microwave.
2:45 "You have this hot dish, that you can eat, that is made of rice."

The Spaghetti: 13 minutes of microwave use

This man has asbestos hands. He takes the glass bowl out of the microwave after ten minutes, and he took those potatoes out after ten minutes. Yikes. That said, I don't have a microwave, but I feel like 10 minutes is a long time in microwave time. Am I wrong?


John said...

You gave Melinda a sleepless night. She spent the first couple hours laughing at your post and at the videos, then the next couple hours being depressed learning about Stephen. Then the last couple hours, she was trying to make herself feel safe again. I slept through it all, because I know what I'm good at.

Michael and Natalie said...

I think he uses the words "cook" and "cooking" in the loosest senses of those words. Also, my mind is having a hard time accepting that this show is real. This is 100% sad and 100% hilarious. And, I feel very guilty because I may have just spent the last 20 minutes laughing at a man with special needs. Best part, though, is him leaving the plastic knife in the "thing". Was that intentional? I think YES!