Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Gleecap: Purple Piano Project

Glee and I are on thin ice. But I decided that we had such fun for a whole season, I should give it another shot - but we are in a three strikes scenario.  That being said, this third season opened with guns blazing. The witticisms and improbabilities were flying, so let's get down to business.

Better than Blaine Anderson's polo shirts and bow ties:
- Let's just get this out of the way up front. I love Blaine. He is so cute. His red pants, his polos, his cover of "It's not Unusual." What a welcome addition to New Directions, despite the fact that he is dating the whiny bully, Kurt. +25
- Jacob Ben Israel is so obnoxious, but he called Finn a "mediocre quarterback and a mediocre glee club lead" how accurate. +3 Then he asked Brittany what her plans were for the future, allowing her to respond, "wait, are you making a time machine too?" +5
-  Tina is out of her weird goth clothes and wearing color, and she looks great. +2
- Lauren is gone! I am so excited about that! +12, and Puck saying "She's the one who got away... really, really slowly." Hilarious. +3
- "Me and My Hag" brochure from Emma. Glee always has the best brochures. +9
- In the polling, Sue is in 9th place "behind undecided, the rapist running from prison and I don't care please don't call during dinner." +6
-"People who call themselves artists think the rules don't apply to them - it's so arrogant." says the geometry teacher. +5 even though I am sure the irony of this statement was lost on the people who make this show.
- Courtney from season four of SYTYCD is a skank. That is delightful. +2
- Speaking of, "who doesn't love the GoGo's?" "I prefer the Bangles." +3
- Brittany twirls in the food fight +6
- Sugar Mata has "self-diagnosed Asperger's" +3 (I remember this girl from the short-lived drama American Dreams, and I seem to remember her singing on that show, so I don't buy this tone-deafness.)

Lamer than glitterbombs:
- The narration isn't consistent enough within all of the episodes. Choose whether you are going to do it or not. -10 
- Finn got slushied by a guy who had a mullet circa Billy Ray Cyrus. It was OOC. He should be shaved bald, not put on television. -8 He also said, "taste the rainbow, glee-otch" which is weird. -2
- Will Schuester - don't be a perv. You're a teacher. -3
- Will and Emma make each others' lunches? Sounds about right, but it's also more than a little lame. No points, I'm just saying.
- April Rhodes' musical won a Tony? How delusional are these writers? NO! -12
- Rachel and Finn's kiss last year, was it really that big of a deal? It was ridiculous last season, and it is even more ridiculous now with their claim of 20,000 hits on YouTube. -17
- Purple Pianos? Where do I start.  They've been repossessed, and they aren't going to try to re-sell them?  And I don't believe Will has the skill-set to refinish pianos.  - 6
- Emma's Kent State reference was in really poor taste. -10
- Will saying, "I need job security." Are you not a Spanish teacher, primarily? -9
- The band is just camped out in the cafeteria near the purple piano? Do they not go to class? -25
- Anyone who tries out gets in to New Directions? What's the point of auditioning? -3
- I will ask again, until they make it clear, is Glee a club or a class? Why do you switch back and forth? Continuity is important. If I were writing a show, I would make these decisions and then post them around the writers room. You know what, coulda woulda shoulda - who wants to write a pilot with me? -20
- Rachel asked, "what's the purple piano doing here?" Never mind the 8 piece band waiting on the stage. And what was that song? Ugh. TERRIBLE. -10 (Great dress though.)
- A glitterbomb? Are you kidding me? MAN UP, Schuester! And you're really going to put that on YouTube? -14
- Quinn's cigarette is what lit the piano on fire. What did the Cheerios have planned, or is Q still in on the scheme? -6
- F- to the costumers for Harmony's dress. It's cute, but so ill-fitting and unflattering. -4
- Kurt and Rachel's pity party, I feel like I should tell them they are on one of the most popular shows on TV. But the rain in that scene was so terrible fake, I can't forgive it. -6
- "These pianos are still making music and so are we." I think I just threw up a little bit there. -14

So, even though on the according to Molly reality scale, this episode came in at a -95, it was enjoyable. Maybe because I love the song, "You Can't Stop the Beat." We're strike-free thus far.

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