A few weeks ago, a few of us were skipping Sunday School and hanging out in the library - our favorite place to be as it allows us to make the copies we need, and not be in the hall - when the idea of a graduate course of study in evil came up. I don't remember who said it initially, but I thought it would be amazingly fun/funny to get a doctorate in evil. I thought I could really shine.
I bring this up because I need to tell you about my last two days hanging out with my 8 year old and 4 year old friends. Yesterday, they were trying to kill me. Literally. They thought it was hilarious to try to smother me with pillows and blankets. (To be fair, I started it. I was chasing them around pretending to be a zombie. So they were trying to rid the world of a member of the un-dead community. Really, they should be commended.) I tolerated their behavior, but only because I could out-power them if need be. Today, not wanting a repeat of yesterday, as soon as they started trying to chase me around, I started a game of hide and seek. Except I don't think they knew that that is what we were playing. I was hiding in really good hiding places, if I do say so myself, and they were running around trying to find me. So, after a while, they found me and I backed myself into a closet. They decided to barricade the door to keep me trapped - which I easily broke through because the chairs had nice felt pads on the feet, and the floor was wooden. Then I ran into the office across the hall, and pretended to be trapped inside there. They were building up their barricade once again, but these kiddos did not realize that I was in a room with in-swinging doors that I could open. So, I did. Here's where my diabolical nature comes in. I told them that since the doors swung in, they needed to find some sort of rope or string and tie the doorknobs to the banister across the way, to prevent me from just opening the door. They ran all over the house looking for such a thing, and I just sat, waiting in the office. When they returned, they had that stretchy plastic string stuff that they tried to make us make braided key chains out of every year at girls' camp. They started shutting me in the room, and I offered some helpful pointers, put this there, use this sort of knot, blah blah blah, then I said, "oh, let me help you, and I stepped outside of the office and before he knew it, the 8 year old was inside of the office and I had him trapped inside. I of course didn't make him stay in there for very long - a few seconds really - but it sure was funny. He was so surprised when we were on the wrong sides of the French doors.
I think the biggest disservice I did today was to all of the future suckers who start out just trying to have fun, pretending as a zombie, and then end up locked in a room, while the stretchy plastic string of many a key fob past stands between them and freedom.