GleeCap: Prom Queen

Oh Glee.  I'm not very sure about you right now, but here's the recap for this week anyway:

More realistic than Mercedes' speech about her desires for the perfect prom. (Scratch that...nothing is more realistic than that.)
-Sue Sylvester giving Will a thing of 'I Can't believe it's not butter' for his "head merkin." OH SNAP! +20
-Kurt's silk paratrooper jumpsuit. +15
-"Devil in a red dress" and then "Go with God, Satan...Santana." ZING! +5
-Santana saying that Altamont "went off without a hitch." Oh yikes. But 100% what a sassy and ignorant teenager would say. +12
-Puck's phrase, "lovable but dangerous miscreant" and then utilizing the play on words "ass-istant bad ass." +7.
-"Teen gay, you may now proceed to the next check point without fear of violence." +3
-Probably the most believable musical performance thus far in the show's history would have to be Artie's much needed grand romantic gesture, "Isn't She Lovely." They utilized instruments and voices we saw on the screen. What a novel concept! And, during it, Mercedes commented on how it was about a baby, not a lover. +65
-Royal Wedding + Alexander McQueen = Gay Braveheart  +10
- Quinn's wallpaper was super cute. I'm kind of jealous. +7
-"Torah Torah Torah! It's go time" as Puck's call to action. Hilarious. I want to use that in my daily life. +13
-"Worst P.O.W. ever. John McCain is rolling over in his grave right now." This is the Sue we all know and love. +5
-Rachel's dress is so, so adorable. I wish she would have put a little petticoat underneath it. And if she got that for $5 at goodwill, I've got to go to that goodwill!! +7
-Brittany's dress is also SO, SO adorable. She had the contrasting petticoat underneath her skirt, and it was amazing. Brittany's the best. +10
-Artie's red tux is so stinking cute. What a charmer. +15
-Speaking of cute, Blain, especially when he sings enthusiastically. +5
-"Just because I hate everybody doesn't mean they have to hate me too." +10

+209


Less realistic than the AV club painting scenery and singing backup.  (Scratch that...nothing is less realistic than that.)
-Since when is everyone a junior? That's poor planning, and not at all realistic. But also, it lacks continuity. Last year when Rachel was a sophomore, Finn was a junior. Did Finn get retained, and they forgot to mention it? Continuity.-50
-Everyone is campaigning for prom king and queen? Is that how every high school but mine works? I won't take away points, just in case this actually happens...but I have my serious doubts.
-Jacob is the most obnoxious and nerdy person at WMHS, how is he not getting slushied? He's all up in everyone's business all the time. I want to throw a slurpee in his face right this minute, and yet choir kids who mind their own business, and get uproarious applause at assemblies when they perform Ke$ha or Salt-n-Pepa get slushied very frequently? I don't buy it. -12
-Principle Figgins is the person who is picking the band for the prom? Is this not the job for the leadership class? -7
-Principle Figgins paying Air Supply $400 to play at a prom, I don't buy it. And then going straight to the glee club instead of, I don't know, A DJ? I really don't buy that. -20
-Lauren is looking for a prom dress at Anne Taylor Loft, Filene's Basement, and Forever 21. Does Forever 21 have a plus size collectiong? No wonder homegirl couldn't find a dress.  -4
-Kurt calling Blain, "Blain Warbler" That is cheesy and confusing. -6
-Sam: My birthday was last week. Rachel: It was?  F- writers. Rachel was with Finn when they took him back his guitar that they got out of hawk. Continuity. -25
-Sam's hair is looking more and more like a Hanson or James Van Der Beek circa Dawson's Creek, and it is not attractive. Break out those shears, and snip snip. No points, I'm just saying.
-Kurt is like Joan and Melissa Rivers? Is Tina a 45 year old woman? Who cares about Joan and Melissa Rivers? If anything we should be talking about Joan in the context of E!'s Fashion Police, that's a little bit more like something Tina would know about. -7
-Rachel and Jesse RUINED Rolling in the Deep. Ruined. -10
-Jesse's back because he flunked out of college and wants to start a consulting business for show choirs? That smells fishier than the Discovery Channel. And Rachel believes it? Oh, Rachel. Yikes. -9
-Jesse's forehead wrinkles...Another petty comment, sure, but we're supposed to believe that this man is a college freshman. No way. -5
-Karofsky is in calculus as a junior? Impressive, and not quite realistic that an oafish jock who is ignorant in so many ways would be ahead of the vast majority of high schoolers. I would have believed pre-calc, but not calc as a junior. -18
-"The really good thing about being in glee club is you get to know your way around a cummerbund." When have they worn tuxedos? They've worn suits at least once, their "Stop in the name of Love" number for Biest comes to mind, but I cannot recall a single instance of tuxedos. But, maybe Finn was trying to just make small talk with Q's mom, so only a -2.
-Quinn's prom dress and hair. Ick. And then Rachel's and Tina's hair was exactly the same, with those wispy curly things.  Ick 2.0. You have professional hairstylists on staff. -4
-Not only do I not believe that Figgins would ask the glee club to sing at prom, but I don't believe that in a school where these kids are made fun of so consistently would the crowd be so in to their performances. Then again, Friday is SUPER catchy. -15
-Sue Sylvester threatening dental torture - you're pushing it writers. -3
-Sue Sylvester saying "You'll be one Mohawk short at nationals." Since Kurt is back, they have 13 kids now, so if Sue is thinking this will disqualify them from nationals, then she's wrong, but maybe she just wants Puck out of the picture? Either way, I'm confused. -2
-"Beat it, MJ." That sounds like the worst possible a bad catchphrase, or T-shirt slogan. Jesse, you can do better, even if you are going toe to toe with the less than clever Finn, you can do better. You are diabolical, we can see it in your eyes. When we hear you say lame things like that, we lose faith in you. -15
-Karofsky won prom king?!? WTeff? Again, I'm not entirely sure what the high school experience is like for everyone else in this country, but we all voted for nice kids to win king and queen. No one who walks down the hall bullying choir kids and threatening death to the token gay kid. -50
-Kurt Hummel as prom queen?!? WTeff squared! Figgins said, an "over-whelming amount of write-in votes" No way is there more than a small group of those kids mean enough to do that. And, again, where are the leadership kids who are counting the ballots. Speaking as a former leadership kid, we threw out all of the boys for queen, not to mention the cartoon characters/politicians/bodily function candidate votes. -75 (And I'm pretty sure Queens don't get scepters, and big ugly king crowns. Minus another 12.)
-Kurt's "support" of Karofsky turned to peer pressure really fast, which I feel parallels the agenda of the show. Back off a little bit. Especially with Santana. She's more interesting and funny as a bitchy slut than a lesbian anyway.  -9
-Karofsky and Jesse both said euphemisms for swear words, which is really out of character. It is more obvious than not including them at all. Just saying...

-310

With the prom king and queen decisions being so outrageous, this week's episode is solidly in the unrealistic/you guys should really think about this stuff before you produce it realm.
Do you disagree with me??