Glee is back, and because of the overwhelmingly positive feedback to the previous Glee recap, or GleeCap, so is my snarky commentary.
As great as the mental image of Mercedes being "carried the hell in" in an egg:
- Sandy Ryerson - the actor Stephen Toblowsky played "Needlenose Ned" Ryerson in the perennial classic "Groundhog Day," I just figured this out. Way to go writers, being all sneaky with your clever - was described as a "notorious friend of Dorothy," and then described himself as a "predatory gay". +50
- The "Brainiacs" included Brittany! +12
- "Cat diseases" was a category of questions! +15
- Brittany knowing the answers to all of the cat diseases questions +30
- That Brainiac hand signal - SO GOOD! + another 50. This was really the best part of the episode.
- The "League of Doom" with, "Sergeant Handsome, Honey Badger, The Pink Dagger, and General Zod". +25 (although the General Zod reference alone is worth 20.)
- Cheyenne Jackson saying, "Let me cut to the sexy chase" +6
- Cheyenne Jackson saying, "This hairline is 85% my own." +10
- Cheyenne Jackson saying, "I'm handsome, I'm good looking, I'm easy on the eyes, also I'm gorgeous." +15
- The diva list: Aretha, Mariah, J.Lo, and Mercedes. One of these things is not like the other...and I'm not talking about Mercedes. +3
-Artie saying that Sunshine with her size she could have "stayed in the air ducts for days" with a level of earnestness that can only be compared to Will or Finn. +2
-GP 's earrings during her Adele song +3
-When GP told the heckling club that she had given Debbie Gibson Alopecia, I just about giggled my face off. But then I thought, I bet it was Debbie Gibson's perfume, Electric Youth, that made her lose all of her hair. so, it's a wash.
- Jewfro kid has a vanity plate reading, "JEWFRO" +10
- When the full orchestra showed up to back up GP, I thought, "teenagers? on glee? there's a first time for everything." +8
- Sandy Ryerson running away, holding out his coat like a cape. +18 And then laundering his drug money though the Brainiac's field trip. +1 more.
-Puck's reaction to Mercedes' singing. +5
-Sue zingers: To Sandy, "How do you manage to enter a building with out setting off all of the fire alarms." on her evening activities, "I'm usually out bow hunting for hobos." and about Holly, "She's looser than a thrift store turtleneck and probably just as diseased." +35
+298 Not too shabby.
More anti-climactic than Gwyneth Paltrow's return:
- 5,000 x .25 = 20,000 It's a good thing Mr. Schuester teaches Spanish and not math. Yikes.-10
- I cannot say I've watched too many episodes of Glee more than once, but I'm pretty sure that Sandy Ryerson, because of the sexual harassment and the pot selling isn't allowed on school property. Am I wrong? Continuity -5
- While I am totally a fan of GP dressing up like Wallis Simpson, I am confused that she is teaching about Catherine the Great the next day. What kind of class is it that she is teaching about an American socialite/hermaphrodite Nazi sympathizer one day and a Russian empress from the 18th Century the next? -10
- Sue handing out beepers to her league of doom. What is this, 1996? -5
- Cheyenne Jackson is on yet another episode and he doesn't sing? You'd better have plans to remedy this, Glee writers.-5
- A Night of Neglect - WHAT? -23
- I am not only willing to believe, but embrace, the bedazzled microphone situation at Rachel's house, but at school? And more than one? And a bedazzled mic stand? Did the set designer find a great deal on rhinestones? -18
- Mike Chang is a TERRIFIC dancer, a dancer that I really can't criticize... at all. But I will request that he NEVER dance to Jack Johnson again. -6
- Emma never slept with her husband John Stamos? PUH-LEASE! -45
- I've long suspected, but now it is being validated very regularly, that no one writing the show has ever been involved with any sort of choir. This episode's glaring proof of this comes from the complete lack of audience members. There is no way that a concert could happen and most parents wouldn't come to see it. Finn's mom and Kurt's dad (aka the best dad on TV) - they should have been there, along with Quinn's mom. Mercedes' parents should have been there, if her whole church choir can come and back her up, her parent's could have been there. (fact: I just want to see her parents.) -100
-Along the same lines, glaring proof comes in the form of concert structure. Two numbers, an intermission and then two more numbers and that's it? At least PRETEND that the rest of the glee clubbers are performing something, have them dress up. And, they wouldn't be in the choir room the whole time, you watch the show from the wings. -50
- During the rest of the show, where was the church choir? They could have taken a few of the seats. Or, perhaps they could have been warming up in the choir room. -10
- Jewfro kid had a twitter "curly hair in cairo" that helped bring down Mubarak. I'm willing to suspend disbelief, but only so far. -17
- I also don't believe that Becky, Jewfro, and football player would all leave together. -6
For a grand total of -12. Ouch Glee. Better luck next time.